First event guide
Your first event
Nervous? That's completely normal. Everyone was new once. Here's a friendly guide to help you feel prepared, respected and relaxed.
01
Before you go
- Talk it through. If you're going as a couple, agree your boundaries together beforehand — what's fine, what's not, and a signal to leave.
- There's no pressure to do anything. Lots of people just go to socialise, have a drink and watch the vibe on their first visit.
- Check the venue's rules, dress code and entry requirements online, and bring photo ID.
02
What to bring
- Photo ID, and money or card for entry and drinks.
- A towel, flip-flops and toiletries if the venue has wet areas.
- Your own protection — venues usually provide it, but it's good to have.
- An outfit that makes you feel confident. Smart-casual is almost always safe.
03
Consent is everything
- Always ask, never assume. A clear "yes" is the only yes.
- "No" or "no thanks" is a complete answer — accept it gracefully and move on.
- Anyone can change their mind at any time, including partway through.
- Don't touch anyone without asking first. A polite question goes a long way.
04
Etiquette
- Be friendly and introduce yourself — most people love helping newbies feel welcome.
- Respect privacy. No phones or photos in shared areas, and what happens there stays there.
- Keep an eye on alcohol. A drink to relax is fine; being drunk is not.
- Practise safer sex and look after your sexual health with regular check-ups.
05
On the night
- Arrive early when it's quieter and take a tour of the venue.
- Stick with your partner or friend and check in with each other regularly.
- Speak to staff if anyone makes you uncomfortable — they're there to help.
- It's completely fine to leave whenever you want.
06
Afterwards
- Chat with your partner about how it went — what you enjoyed and what you'd change.
- Share your experience on the message board or in Newbies Corner chat.
- Leave a review to help the next newbie.